When an archer is shooting...

It's four days before flying off to Beijing for the Olympics. Actually, the first stop is San Jose, California for team processing. This is where all USA teams go before flying to China. We get the opening ceremonies outfits as well as all other gear for the Games. It is a ton of fun. My three teammates have never been to an Olympic Games, so they are in for a treat. I remember in 1996 when I made my first team to Atlanta, Eric Namesnik (who many of you know as one of the greatest swimmers of all time, and who sadly passed away two years ago) sent me a card where he wrote only one sentence, "Get ready to have the time of your life." Snik was right. That 1996 Olympics were magical. It was so because of the spirit of Team USA.

Now I head off to China 12 years older, a little more crickety, but thankful more than ever for how the past three years have gone. The sponsors who stayed in the game with me and took a chance are the reason why I could afford to go for this goal (they are listed all over my website). The support they gave stirs a thankfulness that also leads to humility, because I have seen kids all over this country and world who never had the opportunity I have had. I know that I am not the best athlete in the world if I bring home a gold. There are many young kids who are selling flowers and Chicklets gum on the streets in big cities just to earn enough money for food for the day who, if they had the same chance I had, they would whoop me...I can see it in their eyes and in their bodies.

If you had been on the phone with me three years ago when I was asking you to partner with me in pentathlon, would you have gone for it when I told you I had never held a gun, never been on a horse, nor ever thought about the sport of fencing? The leap of faith they took is appreciated tremendously. I never knew how crazy it sounded to tell them that I thought I could make the Olympic team while at the same time saying I didn't know the first thing about those sports.
For some reason I always thought this was do-able, and I never questioned that there would be great coaches who would teach me quickly enough.

Even with the support, the tough times were really tough. I was on the verge of giving it up almost on a daily basis. Those skill sports (riding, fencing, shooting) are just as tough as any other sport. To hold a gun up and press the trigger is not difficult, but try hitting "center 10" time and time again....and do it when there is pressure to win....that is tough. There is a great quote someone gave me that is so true:

'when an archer is shooting for enjoyment, he has all the skill; when he shoots for a brass buckle, he gets nervous; when he shoots for a prize of gold, he begins to see 2 targets.' -Chuang Tsu (Taoist Philosopher)

Yes, it is true. The nerves during the shoot are perhaps the worst feeling I have ever felt in sport. If you know me, you know my personality is not so suited to calm. This is the challenge in multi-sport...working on the weaknesses while competing to your strengths.

I go into Beijing not knowing how the competition will go. I am in the best shape of my life. I have been healthy the entire summer. I have trained the three skill sports knowing there was not one more thing I could have done to try to learn as much as possible in the time I had. That is all I can ask for when going into the Olympics. The results will be what they were meant to be.

I cannot express how thankful I am to have family, friends, and coaches who have hammered that message into my head. My coaches have always stepped aside and only wanted what is best for the athlete. Greg Phill, my swimming coach of 30 years (that has to be a record), told me in 1996 that he only wanted it to go well for me, not for him. His life was about his family, not about whether I swam well enough to show that he was a good coach. Lew Kidder, my triathlon coach and pentathlon advisor has always said that he is just there to give advice....I can take it or leave it, that I am my own best coach. My college swim coaches, Harvey Humphries and Jack Bauerle (Jack, by the way, is the head women's swim coach in Beijing) told me to go to this Olympics and smile the way they saw me smile in 1996. Not one of my coaches wants success for themselves over the athlete's happiness. That is why I have enjoyed sport for so long. I thank God for the coaches I have loved over the years.

More than anything I thank God for the family and friends I love and who have loved me even through the ugliest of times. At night, my prayers are only for them. God has answered all of those prayers. It amazes me. I have cried on the phone to sisters and brothers when times were tough; my nieces and nephews have helped by mowing my lawn and going grocery shopping for me; and my mom and dad have been the best cat sitters in the world (I call them the "tuna juice cat-sitters".....I called home one day to check on things, and my mom announced that she had just brought tuna juice to the bedroom for the cats. I said, "like room service?!")

There is a bond with people that I cannot describe. I do not want to say in this blog simply that I am thankful for my family and friends. It is so much more than that. Phone conversations end with "I love you", no matter if it was just a quick call or a lengthy discussion. This is the same even with many friends (the ones who don't freak out if you say "I love you." :) Truly, I love my friends. The hurried part of finishing my sports career is so that I can enjoy time with people. For the past 8-10 years I have felt so tired at the end of each day that I have not spent enough time with people. It leads to the question, "when does intense goal setting need to be put aside in order to enjoy what we were made to enjoy?" After Aug. 22, that is the time.

Finally, this blog is to say THANK YOU to the people who have supported my family's trip to Beijing by making a donation or by buying a t-shirt. Every time someone buys one or tells me about how their friend who doesn't even know me or my family wants to buy one, I get a feeling that I cannot describe. I can only say that it is a feeling that brings a calm that I rarely experience. I want so badly for the world to be good, that when someone does such a kind thing as to help my family with their expenses to the Games, it is like God saying, "see the good."

Ok, I have rambled. My brother, Steven, who does the website, has asked me to blog for the past year, and I never get around to it. Now, when I do, the rambling doesn't stop. I will just end with letting you know that the one guarantee I can give you for Beijing is that I will be trying my hardest. The results may be good, or they may be tough to swallow. I have had my fair share of wins in my career, and I also know what disappointment feels like in sport. Life doesn't change much either way. I still pray the same prayers at night, and I still get to have a good cup of coffee in the morning.

I hope for you that you are finding that good balance in reaching your goals and in enjoying what brings you the most happiness in life. God bless.
Sheila